Connection
by Paranoidgirl
Summary: During a conversation with Pratal Mox, Tygan opens up about a rather traumatic event.


Tygan was at work in his laboratory.  
That said, he wasn't dealing with dissecting another alien. Far from it.

"I should have known that someone priding themselves in their close range abilities should come home with plenty of injuries." He mused while stitching up a wound on Pratal Mox's upper arm. "No offense, of course." He added as he realized how it might have sounded.

"None is taken. You are the only one able to dress these wounds." Mox answered.

"I do have to thank you for helping me with my field tests. Some of my research in the ADVENT troops required more than just dissecting their corpses." Tygan said as he finished dressing and cleaning the wound.

"I do wonder; how come you know so little?" Mox asked, lowering his sleeve. "You aided ADVENT in their research."

"It was not part of my work. And while I was… favored, they kept everything that they felt I didn't need to know closely guarded." Tygan looked down, frowning. "Thinking back, that should have bothered me more then it did."

"You were under their influence. You could not have known." Mox said, noticing his guilt.

"While I can claim ignorance, I can't claim to have been as controlled as you and your kind." Tygan said. "In the end, it was a choice I made. An ignorant, regretful choice, but a choice nonetheless. Something your kind didn't have."

"However, when your mind cleared, you made the choice to defy them. Just like I did." Mox said. "You even went as far as to remove the chip from your body." As Mox said that, Tygan's hand went to the back of his head. Almost on instinct.

"To be completely fair that was… more for practical reasons." He said, feeling somewhat flustered. It wasn't often that this particular moment in his life was brought up in a positive light. Most of the time it was just being doubted. "While not made for mind control, at least that I'm aware of, it had tracking features and if I were to leave ADVENT and help the resistance, it would be a risk." He pulled his hand back. "I do wonder; do Skirmishers still have their chip?"

"We have. Though we have not noticed any effects of them still being inside." Mox answered.

"Perhaps that is better." Tygan said. "I do not wish what I did on anyone if it isn't necessary."

"It was a traumatizing event?"

"Somewhat. I suppose." Tygan said, trying to recall the moment. "I admit I don't remember the exact details of the procedure. Just… Emotions, feelings and flashes of thoughts." He continued, closing his eyes. "I remember lining up the surgical tools I had over and over again in order to stall what had to be done. I remember thinking this wouldn't be so bad after the first slice, only to be proven wrong with the next." A hitch in his breath. It was coming back. "I remember… feeling blood running down my neck. Seeing it leak on my desk. I remember ordering myself to not pass out as some sort of mantra." Another hitch. "I remember… after it was finished… not caring if I woke up when I finally allowed myself to fall unconscious." He stopped speaking but he didn't open his eyes. It all came back to him. Not that it did before, but this time it was far more vivid. Far more painful.

"Doctor?" He could hear Mox ask, pulling him back to reality. When he opened his eyes again, he was looking through his fingers, shaking quite visibly. Looking at his shoulder, he saw Mox's hand on it somewhat stiffly. An attempted gesture of comfort.

"Apologies. I… I never tried to recollect memories from that moment before so I was unaware just how much they would affect me." Tygan said, straightening himself.

"I should be the one to apologise. I should have known this would be a painful topic to discuss." Mox said.

"You're a combat veteran. Surely you've heard of more visceral stories."

"That does not take away that this event was painful for you." Mox said. Tygan couldn't help but smile. He never really opened up about this and even with the horrid memories, it did feel good to share. To no longer isolate the feelings it brought.

"If anything, it's a reminder of my past mistakes." He said.

"Is that how you view it?" Mox asked.

"How else should I view it?" Tygan asked. He never saw his past as anything but a row of mistakes, so he was wondering how someone else would interpret things.

"Your scar is a symbol of your rejection of the False Gods. You should be proud of it." Mox said as Tygan's hand went to the back of his head, expression somewhat confused.

"Pride is the last emotion I feel when thinking about that moment." He softly said. "Defiance, maybe. But pride…?" He shook his head. "No." Was all he could really say to that. "There's no pride in my previous actions."

"What about your current actions?" Mox asked. "Do you take pride in those?"

"I…" Tygan said but stopped himself. He honestly didn't know.

"You should." Mox said after a while. A silence followed.

Mox, you're needed in the Resistance Ring

Central's voice cut through that silence as Mox got up.

"I thank you for treating my injuries." He said.

"It was no problem." Tygan answered. "And… thank you, too." He quietly added. "For making me feel like I'm not going through this alone." Mox nodded, a small, rare smile creeping on his returned an equally rare one. With that, both men went to their respective duties with the feeling that someone on the vast ship would understand them.


End file.
